Blog Post 14: I Drive Myself Crazy - THINKING OF YOU

As Esther enters enters the graveyard in which her father was laid to rest in, she is automatically disappointed in what she sees. As if Esther isn't already unsatisfied about everything, she adds the graveyard to her list of things. There are two portions to the graveyard, the older side and the newer side. Ironically the older side seems to be a bit better and it appeals to Esther more. "The graveyard disappointed me." (Plath. 166) Esther says as she encounters the graveyard. As Esther swims in the ocean she contemplates taking an Edna like approach to killing herself by swimming until she can no longer go anymore, but she remembers her attempt at choking herself that morning and figures that her body will resist the urge to do so and just cling on to the rock in the middle of the ocean. Esther then attempts to just submerge where she is and drown, only to be disappointed at the fact that she bobs back up to the surface each time. At the end of chapter 14 pockets and steals a ball of mercury before being moved after causing a huge commotion. This seems to be the biggest thing that actually makes Esther happy. She seems to be so fascinated at the silver ball saying, "I smiled and smiled at the small silver." (Plath. 183). I think that this stolen ball of mercury plays a significant in the novel because it will return later in the book and play a role in the end of the novel quite possibly. Esther ends up talking to her new doctor, Dr. Nolan about her previous experience with shock therapy and Dr. Nolan reassures Esther that is was done incorrectly and that it will never be like it was the first time. Finally in chapter 16, Esther is requested by another patient by the name of Joan who seems to have the same symptoms and tendencies as Esther. Joan knows Esther because they went to the same college and Joan ended up reading about Esther when she went missing, which makes the reader question how long Esther was missing.